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Make your writing clear - 与ISE编辑Lisa Clancy博士一起学科技论文写作技巧

时间:2020.06.28 浏览:620次 作者:ISE 来源:

让你的写作更清楚 , Make your writing clear —— 今天我们与国际科学编辑ISE资深编辑Lisa Clancy博士一起学习科技论文写作技巧。

1. Make your writing clear

说清楚

例如 T he observed changes in the gut microbiota caused inflammation in the mice.

上面这句话表明讨论的两者有直接的因果关系,但如果这是一项观察性研究;这两种结果可能同时出现,但没有直接的因果关系。如果是这样的话,这句话应该这样措辞:

The observed changes in the gut microbiota were associated with inflammation in the mice.

明确代词

代词是指代其他名词的词。包括it, which, this, that和they。代词所指的名词应该让读者明白。

例如 Streptavidin binds biotin, which enables detection.

上面这句话不清楚 which 指的是: streptavidin, biotin 或 the binding of streptavidin to biotin.

为了澄清,这句话可以改写为

Streptavidin binds biotin, and this binding enables detection.

或更直接地改为

Binding of streptavidin to biotin enables detection.

2. Make your writing specific

用具体的描述

例如 The treatment improved serum LDL levels. ( 治 疗 改善了血清 LDL 水平 )

这种改善意味着增加还是减少还不清楚。这句话换作 The treatment decreased serum LDL levels. ( 治 疗 降低了血清 LDL 水平 )

提供量化

描述数量时避免模糊的描述。

例如 Nearly half a dozen studies have been performed.

上面这句话可以更具体,可以改成: Five studies have been performed.

尽可能对模糊的描述进行量化。例如, Lung cancer is highly deadly.

可以改成

Lung cancer is the primary cause of cancer death worldwide, accounting for 1.8 million deaths in 2018.

3. Use simple language

删除不要的单词

改写冗长的句子,更直接地表达你的意思。

例如, Our results showed that the compound had a significant promotion effect towards cell proliferation.

可以改成

The compound significantly promoted cell proliferation.

另一个例子,

Due to the fact that we observed an obvious association between the agonism of PKC signaling and decreased glucose levels, it is tempting to speculate that PKC signaling may play a modulatory role in regulating gluconeogenesis.

可以改成

Because PKC signaling agonism decreased glucose levels, PKC signaling might potentially modulate gluconeogenesis.

避免冗余

同样的信息不应该在相邻的句子中重复。

例如, We observed that the levels of complex formation increased as the temperature increased. Therefore, complex formation is directly related to temperature.

第二句可以删除,因为这两句描述的是相同的直接关系。

4. Use sentence structure to guide readers

把主题放在句子的开头,并考虑让主题成为动词的主语

这样的句子结构有助于向读者阐明句子的主题。例如, The treatment decreased symptoms. 这句话给读者的印象是强调关于treatment的。

相比之下, The symptoms were decreased by the treatment.

这句话给读者的印象是强调关于symptoms的。

在句子的开头引用你已经介绍过的概念,在句子的末尾放置新信息。

这样的句子结构有助于通过句子中呈现的信息引导读者。引用在句子开头已经提到过的东西可以帮助读者理解这个句子和之前的句子之间的关系。把新信息放在句尾(有时也称为“重音位置”)向读者强调信息。

例如,在下面的句子中

Promising results in cancer treatment have been achieved through immunotherapy. Patients often do not respond to immunotherapy, and therefore it is not used as a first-line treatment.

第一句没有明确说明主题是免疫疗法(immunotherapy),因为免疫疗法直到句末才介绍。第二句话的开头描述了病人缺乏反应(Patients often do not respond to immunotherapy),这似乎与第一句所描述的有希望的结果相矛盾。因此,读者可能会发现信息难以理解。

同样的信息可以更清楚地表述为

Immunotherapy has shown promising results in cancer treatment. However, immunotherapy is not used as a first-line treatment because patients often do not respond to it.

这里,第一句话确定了主题是免疫疗法。第二个句子用“however”这个词来暗示与读者的对比,与第一个句子相连的是提到免疫疗法,然后提供了关于治疗效果的新信息。这个故事对读者来说更容易理解。

5. Phrase comparisons clearly

关于比较的一些单词

如果你使用比较词(比如以-er结尾的词,more和less),一定要明确比较的是什么。

例如 Lung cancer has a higher mortality rate.

这句话就讲的不清楚,因为单词higher表示比较,但是句子没有说明比较。这个句子应该重写,以陈述两个被比较的东西

Lung cancer has a higher mortality rate than pancreatic cancer.

或者比较级词(higher)可以换一种说法

Lung cancer has a high mortality rate.

增加和减少

Increase 和decrease应用于比较同一组内随时间变化的数值,而不用于比较不同组间的数值差异,

例如,

The baby’s height was decreased compared with the man’s height.

这个词用得很笨拙,可能会错误地暗示婴儿和男人一开始身高相同,然后婴儿的身高就下降了。实际上,它的意思是:

The baby’s height was less than the man’s height.

或者,如果措辞更直接的话,

The baby was shorter than the man.

同样的原理也适用于在科学实验中描述不同的群体。

例如,

The androgen levels were decreased in the female group compared with the male group.

应该改为 The androgen levels were lower in the female group than the male group.

但是,当一个组与自身进行比较时,可以使用“decreased”,

例如, The androgen levels decreased with age in the female group.

时间、倍数或百分比变化

用时间、倍数或百分比来描述变化往往不清楚,措辞应谨慎。

说明一个值更改为某个值与说明值因某个值而更改是不同的。如果正在描述最终值,则应该使用to,如果正在描述变化程度,则应该使用by。

例如,如果值从100增加到300,可以使用以下描述:

The value increased to three times the initial amount.

[注: threefold 或300% 可代替three times。]

The value increased by two times.

[注: twofold 或 200% 可替代 two times.]

描述减少也有可能不清楚,因为一倍/1×/100%的减少将使水平为零。

例如,

The insulin levels in the knockout mice were tenfold (or ten times) lower than the levels in the wild-type mice. (基因敲除小鼠的胰岛素水平比野生型小鼠低10倍(或10倍))

没有意义。它可以换一种说法,

The insulin levels in the knockout mice were 10% those in the wild-type mice. ( 基因敲除小鼠的胰 岛 素水平是野生型小鼠的10%)

或者

The insulin levels in the knockout mice were 90% lower than those in the wild-type mice.(基因敲除小鼠的胰岛素水平比野生型小鼠低90%)

参考文献:

https://www.internationalscienceediting.com/tips-for-writing-sentences-about-science/

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